Ramblings in the Hetalian Language
by NekoEva13
Summary: Complete and utter crack. This is literally what happens when you leave me alone with the impulse to write Hetalia crack. This was all made up on spot and is really random. None of the chapters are related to each other. Rated T for stuff... Human names used
1. Chapter 1

Feliciano stood in the doorway of his brother's room. Lovino stared at his brother in the eyes. Felciano all of a sudden screamed out "VE~!" and took off in a different direction. Then Lovino fell over revealing that he was actually a cardboard cut out.

Antonio stood up, passing through the bed like a ghost, apparently he was hiding under there. He walked to the cut out of Lovi and picked it up and ripped off the cardboard curl. He then got a phone call that he answered hearing "HOW DARE YOU TOMATO BASTARD!" and some sobbing from an Italian.

Feli then stood in front of Ludwig's house with Lovi who was crying and covering his real curl. Then Gilbert ran out of the house screaming, "WEST! GET OUT OF THERE UNLESS YOU WANNA BLOW UP WITH IT!" He then looked around. "OH, SHIT! GILBIRD MY AWESOME LITTLE BUDDY! WHERE'D YOU GO?!"

"MUST YOU INSIST ON YELLING?!" Feliciano snapped at Gilbert who looked just as surprised as you do at the moment. Then Gilbird slowly flew over and landed on Lovino's head, and bit his curl-which Lovino stopped protecting shocked from his brother's outburst.

He then yelled "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" and the house blew up.

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**This was all created on spot. Never leave me alone on fanfiction while board or this will happen. See?**

**Don't worry they survived and lived happily ever after. The. End.**

**P.S. HETALIA ISN'T MINE!**

**Oh, and no flames I made this for fun. DO NOT FLAME! GOT IT? Thanks~**


	2. Chapter 2

_Does this count? _I wonder. I glance up at the clock. 6:42. I move my hands from my laptop.

He's late. The idiot is fucking late. I run my hand through my blonde hair. It's just like that idiot to be late. I hear a screech to my left and look to see Italy. What is he doing here? He screams again seeming to be trying to fight something off. There is nothing there. I think I would see something, being Britain and all. He screams again.

"Heeeeeelp meeee! I'm being eaten by a pair of leather pants!" He screams again, the vanishes. There is a cloud of dust left behind, when a dancing and singing banana is left in his place. The fuck?

His brother, Italy Romano, comes running from my right and notices the banana. "Nooooooooo! Venenzianooooo!" He picks up the banana. "He was so young!" He then stands up like nothing happened and ate the banana. He turned to me, smiled-which was a rare sight-and stated: "Banana peels are poisonous kids!" then ran away giggling like a school girl.

Then Thor drops in and shouts: "Lokiiiiiii~! Where are you~!" In a strangely high pitched voice. He picks up his hammer and spins around incredibly fast, then stops, and I stare in shock. He's wearing a pink tutu. He jumps up, and dances away.

I look to my right and see someone running down the hall. He reaches me and stops, holding out a cupcake. "Here, eat this. You'll feel a whole lot better~!" He grins, and looks surprisingly like me. When I don't take the cupcake he frowns and throws it at me. "I said to eat the fucking cupcake!" He then turns and stomps away.

Russia appears at my side and starts to sing. In...Japanese? He shouts out very loudly, hurting my ears then rides away on a waffle. France stands in front of me holding a rose. The rose turns into a wand and he shouts, "Stupify!" at me. He then jumps up and flies away. I hear a noise behind me and turn my head to see a death eater chase after the frog.

Germany skips past me in only his underwear singing "I'm a little tea pot" in a girly voice. Flying Mint Bunny comes up to me and speaks in a deep voice "Iggy! Hey Iggy! Wake up!"

My eyes snap open to look in bright blue ones. I shriek and lean away.

"Ahh! Dude, don't scare me like that!" America said, leaning back.

"You're the one that scared me!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Git!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

America and I get up and walk down the hall of the building we were meeting in. He grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes. I have only one reaction. And that is to blush. He grins that ear to ear smile then there was a poof of smoke. America disappeared!

"Yo, dude!" A tiny voice shouts and I see a little fairy flying not to far away. "I'm the tooth fairy! What'dya think 'bout that?"

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**I...Have no fucking clue. I wanted to write something, and this came out of me. It's almost two in the morning.**

**You know, this isn't even the crackiest thing I could ever write. But, I do feel accomplished. Yeah, I'm tired, yet not tired, so I'm probably going to bed.**

**Oh, and also a little appearance from 2P!Iggy there! Fuck yeah! 'Night!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Thor, or Harry Potter.**

**Oh yeah! I decided to continue this! Yay me!**


	3. Chapter 3

"YO!" China shouts in Russia's face. "ARU, BITCH!"

Russia smiles, then giggles with a very low voice while a toothbrush flies by shouting "RAVE PARTY~!"

"PAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPA!" Romano was sitting on the floor clapping like a seal. "PAPAPAPA-SPAIN~!" Spain runs by with Prussia following behind in only his underwear with France not far behind with only a rose covering his vital regions.

The three of them in sync with their strange laughs of "Fusososo" "Kesesese" and "Honhonhon".

Japan is dancing on the table with a bunny play-boy outfit on singing "Die Young" by Ke$ha. While Italy is doing taxes in the corner with mushrooms growing around him.

A llama with a top hat and monocle sits in a large red arm chair in front of a fire place in the middle of the school. He seems to be telling a story then shoots through the roof shouting "FOOL!" transforming into a sword once in the sky.

Gilbird flies in a circle around South Korea's head, then lands on his head. S. Korea stiffens then falls to the floor sobbing. "D-Don't touch me, da-ze!" Gilbird looks at him sweetly. "It's going to EAT MEEEEEEEEE!" Gilbird transforms into a giant bird and swallows him whole. Prussia's head pops around the corner. "That's my boy!" He shouts.

Italy stands up and shouts "WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Everyone looks at him with bubbly expressions. "IF I DON'T FIGURE THIS OUT IN FIVE SECONDS WE'RE GOING TO DIE-!"

A meteor crashes through the roof and everyone turns into zombies. England looks into the camera and shouts "HAPPY APOCALYPSE BITCHES!"

The End.

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**I don't know again. I went to the World Market today and got some Pocky, German cookies, and Japanese soda. I drank one of the sodas, abox and a half boxes of pocky and a few cookies. I'm hyped up on sweets bitches!** **(I've also had a new found fascination with the word 'bitch'.)**

**But anyways, it's the middle of the night (again); 1:13.**

**Also, Happy-late-New Year!**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine and I have no rights to Ke$ha's song of Die Young.(It's just been on the radio way too many fucking times! So it's stuck in my head.)**


	4. Chapter 4

"Check yes Juliet, are you with me~?" America sung off key, shimmying to the beat. Italy sung in German, hopping like a bunny. England was in a banana costume singing a completely different song.

"I'm a banana! I'm a banana!"

"Shut up Iggy! You're not Onision!" Canada shouted at the top of his lungs.

"I don't care~!" England sang right back.

"La, lala, la la, la la LAAAAAA~!" Spain sang into Japan's ear, who was in nothing but a sumo-wrestler's underwear-thing, facing china, who was dressed as a ninja.

Russia dropped out of the sky then screamed "FUS RO DA!" Blowing everything away.

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**What the _fuck_ is wrong with me? This is only about 100 words, yet I decide to do this, and post it... I guess it's just my random mind at work. Welp...BT**

**Bye~!**

**Oh, and guess what guys! It's actually not the middle of the night! This is the first time I've posted something on this, and it wasn't the middle of the night.**

**Hetalia isn't mine~!**


End file.
